Marriage Dating, Just like Playing with Fire

It’s truly amazing the number of legitimized dating sites that are online that cater to not just singles, but married people looking for affairs. That’s right, married dating! Flings are nothing new, of course. Affairs have been going on for as long as cavemen have been choosing their significant others. But this well… let me elaborate.

What is most surprising is the number of “so-called” respected dating services that do encourage men and women to have affairs

Many of these dating services have gotten exposure from shows like “Dr. Phil”, “Today”, “The Ellen DeGeneres Show”, etc. This does bring up a point that should be considered. Just because a service gets national mention in the media does not necessarily mean the message is a healthy one.

Overall, most therapists and relationship gurus emphatically agree that monogamous relationships are not just good for us, but seem to be part of our nature. Our marriages thrive in harmony. Harmony can only exist in honest effort.

When we fall in love with that special someone and our emotions are corresponded, this does not happen by chance; this seems to be ingrained in general human design. This is what real commitment and family values are about.

But in today’s world, there is a lot of added pressure, stress and confusion heaped upon us. The family unity, along with our inner values, can get lost in a lot of mixed signals. The mainstream media is only one instance where we have gone astray. When the media becomes the message, then quite often, we will see double standards being applied. When we see celebrities on TV having extra-marital relationships, because we admire them, this can be confusing.

Marriage dating is like walking the razor’s edge, playing with fire, pick your metaphor for dangerous. This simply is a fact. Men and women will usually begin looking around for different reasons, but the effects are generally the same. Profound hurt over betrayal, trust is compromised and often, the marriage will not survive taking extra-marital hits. Most specialists agree: Even married dating under the “open marriage” umbrella, in due time, will debilitate the intimacy and larger connection and commitment between partners.

When you recognize that the online dating machine is a multi-million dollar enterprise, it is easier to read between the lines. Most of these services are actualy proclaiming that married dating is fine to engage in. This comes from a business objective and nothing more. The competition is fierce for new members. When married dating is a part of the package, this opens up a whole area of clientele that the dating services can cater to besides the “singles” market.

Many of us muse and daydream about the “what ifs” that we lack in our day to day. Living out our lives vicariously through others can sometimes even be a healthy thing.

Married dating will always paint a picture of something better on the other side of the fence. But this is rarely the case when acted upon.

It´s the truth that in this day and age, more and more couples than ever before are ending their relationships in divorce. But there are also more people on this earth than ever before who are getting married. The number one reason the married couples get divorced today is disillusionment in the relationship. Marriage, like any other genuine human connection, takes work and responsibility. When people start taking their marriages for granted, frequently they don´t know why they are feeling antsy and having second thoughts.

The online websites that promote married dating seem so tempting because they offer the anonymity of cyberspace. Discretion is one of the first key triggers they can offer you. If no one knows who you really are, you can become someone else. After all, there are many others who are having flings through these online dating services.

Consider that the nagging desire to have an extramarital affair is almost always associated with something more profound and deeper that is not being taken care of in the relationship. Doing the work of going through the real issues together with your partner will surely strengthen the connection between you.

Everyone needs help at one time or another. If the troubles in the relationship seem to heavy to tackle alone, consider consulting a pofessional counselor. Marriage counselors and relationship experts are equipped to deal with problems in marriage that can’t be resolved easily.

The bottom line is that most of us have tons of time and emotional energy invested in our marriages. Often times, children are very much a part of the picture and the impact on their lives needs to be taken into account. All of your alternatives should be explored before coming to the conclusion that a solution can only be achieved through separation or divorce.

You really need to be sure that you did absolutely all that could have been done to solve things. If you don´t, it will come back and bite you in the future.

Married dating will never strengthen a marriage. At best, it may look exciting from afar, but in reality will only cause guilt, heart ache, self-reproach and mistrust. In a short word…DON’T.

For more stories, testimonials, reviews and online dating articles visit:

Simple-Relationship-Advice.com

Share and Enjoy:

Be The Guy Who Gets The Girl

Ads By CbproAds