To often in conversation with women guys are quick to try and establish a connection related to experience but go about it the wrong way.
The most important step in knowing how to talk to girls is bridging a connection to induce positive emotions. If you attempt to bridge a connection through common interests or similar life experience without evoking these positive emotions you will simply be thought of as someone to talk to within the range of the time the conversation takes to expire.
When learning how to talk to girls, the important things to remember when talking to women beyond fluff talk and try to connect on a more personal level is to allow her to speak about the things she is passionate about and probe deeper into her experiences and interests and try to see things from her perspective rather than be all to eagre to nod and smile looking for an opening to talk about yourself. If she was to mention that she is passionate about her career find out what it is that makes her passionate about it? Why is it so important to her? What trials and tribulations did she encounter when starting out in her new career, and how has it changed her as a person. Once she is in the groove of talking about something she is passionate about and her emotions are heightened you can then talk about how your experiences relates to her. She will have an invested interest in you as she has already divulged so much of her own personal life to you that she will feel as if she can trust you, and trusting you makes her feel as though the two of you share something and are compatible.
Even when the conversation seems to be shallow fluff talk, there are more often that not pieces of info that are divulged that you can pick up on if you listen intently to what she says instead of brushing these gems of information off and chosing to ignore. For example a girl may say: “I grew up in Vancouver, but moved here to study/work”. Guy who don’t show geniune interest in what she is saying and give generic reponses to her such as “Oh ok” then mentally check that question off in their “Things to ask” list they have stored in their heads, will be unable to make any real or lasting conversation with her. Instead she is likely to remember talking to you as interrogating, tedious and boring. From that little nugget of information she’s given you could find out a lot on a more intimate level such as; How she felt when she first got here, what was life like in Vancouver, do her family still live there? (Could branch off to talk about her loved ones) You could then say how close you are to your family or how goal orientated you are as well - This shows a compatibility in values and also compliments her on a deeper level beyond her looks as you’ve told her you are as goal orientated as she is.
Getting to know someone like this puts you in the position where she is comfortable with you and will feel like “She’s known you for years”. This is certainly good when you are looking to get into a relationship. Knowing how to approach a girl gets your foot in the door, but stimulating conversation opens up opportunities for escalation.
Untill next time,
Eros
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- How to Talk to Single Women - Conversation to Attract a Woman
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